I want to believe...

I want to believe that this baby will stay put long enough for me to go and see the movie at the drive-in theatre on opening night or the day after. I went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean 2 about a week before Natalya was born but this would probably be cutting it closer.

Hey, as long as we make sure the 3rd carseat is installed and bring some extra towels then I'll be covered, right? I'm not sure I'd leave the movie just to give birth. *blush* We can come a family of 4 and leave a family of 5, it's all good.

Anybody who has been unlucky enough to venture into my laundry room/workroom knows I still have my "I want to believe." poster hanging on the wall in there.

baby stuff

I have enough stuff on my needles as it is. So, why do I want to knit newborn stuff right now? I could finish Natalya's longies that I've been working on forever. My much neglected Central Park Hoodie, which hopefully will be finished in time for the fall. The $*@# chevron scarf that I like but hate knitting. But no, I want to knit a little tiny newborn soaker.

Hmmm, maybe just one. It wouldn't really take that long, right?

more random musings

Heartburn sucks! It started early this time, a little over a month ago. Ouch! I'm sure having a grilled cheese and jalapeño sandwich (2, actually) for dinner didn't help. But damn, it's the only thing in the world that sounded good. Lots and lots of jalapeños.

I've been experimenting with solid dyeing in my washer. Not normally a big deal, but I have a front loader. That means I can only soak items for a maximum of 35 minutes, I can't open the door during the cycle and if I pause the washer then all the water (and dye) drains out. (One of the few times I wish I had a top loader.) Adding the dye and soda ash is tricky so I don't get freckling or spotting, and forgetting to add the salt results in some really crappy colors. I've had to experiment with the dye chemistry but I'm finally getting some results I like. It uses more supplies but it's nice to not be stuck sitting at the laundry sink stirring for over an hour.

Of course, this experimentation has been going on for three days now and we're starting to run out of clothes and diapers so I think I need to do some regular laundry. After one more batch.

retreat inward

I can feel it coming on again, the urge to turn inward and retreat into myself. Pull back from interactions with others, both online and IRL. There are times when I feel overwhelmed from the interactions that are required to be a functioning member of society, the intricate dance of emotions, expectations and societal mores that often seem to be a foreign language that is slightly beyond my grasp.

An extreme introvert, yet the mother of two extroverts. The very things that seem to fill their glasses, so to speak, tend to drain my own. It's a delicate balance to maintain.

Can I find peace without solitude? How do I draw the line between solitude and reclusiveness? Once it begins, the draw of isolation is powerful and it is easy to slip too deeply within its grip.

disconnecting ramblings

Gah, the one time I pull for UNC and they can't beat Kansas. Lovely. I went to North Carolina State University, a rival of UNC's, so I was already holding my breath as I cheered for them. I shouldn't have wasted my time.

I miss living in NC where NCAA basketball was a huge fan. In high school, my geometry teacher was also the basketball coach and if there were any ACC or NCAA games on during the day we watched them instead of having class.

The kids went to the Y for "military date night" (AKA Navy wife sanity night) last night. I haven't been to Origami Sushi since either January or February but as soon as I walked in the guy behind the counter saw me and said "spicy tuna roll to start off with?" LOL, yes I guess I have a bit of a problem.

And to the nice cashier at Fred Meyer - no, my kids didn't have spring break last week. They're 1 and 3 years old, sheesh!