chain reaction

You gotta set it up just right for the maximum effect.  Start with a 2 year old that wakes up at 11:30 pm and then goes to bed with me.  15 minutes later, add to the mix a teething baby who wants to nurse all. night. long.  Toss in about 3 cats for good measure, just to ensure that I'm sleeping in some weird contorted position because the cats are are all sleeping on my legs or under the covers to avoid the 2 year old who is sprawled over half the bed.  About 5:30 am, add a 4 year old who woke up early and crawls into bed on the other side if the baby. (This is all in about 2 feet of space, because the 2 year old is sleeping sideways in the bed with her head rammed into my kidneys, I'm trapped on my side with the eternally nursing baby.)  On the up side, this gets rid of 2 of the cats.  On the down side, this also wakes up the baby, who wants to coo and roll around and play with her big brother. "Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhhh! be quiet!" in a furious whisper.  Give up and get up and go to the bathroom, then the baby rolls over and wakes up the until-then peacefully sleeping 2 year old by grabbing handruls of hair and pulling.  Natalya is not a morning person under the best of circumstances, so this does not bode well for the day.  Well f*ck, I guess we're all up now.  Give up on sleep, threaten the 4 year old with horrible things if he "ever, and I mean ever!" comes into my room before 7 am again.  Now the baby is melting down and tired, but doesn't want to nap.  I'm trying to caffeinate myself enough for my brain to realize my body is awake and (in a stellar example of non-zen parenting) continue to threaten the 4 year old with irrational things.  "If the baby wants to eat your game, then let her eat your game.  I don't care if you don't want her to, if you don't want her to eat your game then you shouldn't have woken her up early."  Apparently grumpy, irrational mommy wakes up a couple hours before nice mommy does.